Hopelessness

In the late 1950s and early 1960s, my Mother faced a very tough period of time. I want to share with you some lessons her life taught me about having a bad day.

In the early 1950’s my Dad was injured in the steel mills of Union City, California and our family went into a real tail spin financially:

Ÿ   No workman’s compensation or income

Ÿ   Living on welfare

Ÿ   Constant moves to a new apartment or rental house to save a few dollars

Ÿ   No car - my Mom used to ride a bike to work

Ÿ   Discovering you're pregnant with a new child

           

Mom wrote in a diary, “things are absolutely the worst.” Have you ever been there? Have you ever been at the bottom?

I wish I could tell you that my Dad was a strong man who faced adversity with faith, courage, strength and determination. Sadly, he chose another path which I call the path of bitterness.

I’ve thought a lot about this and I see four bad choices he made in our time of crisis.

But let me put in a parenthesis here. I appreciate several fine qualities my Dad had in his life. I have a picture of him on my desk. So, I’m not bitter or angry when I make these observations.

First, he gave into self pity. Do you know what I mean when I say self pity? It’s the woe is me attitude: “Everything is going wrong!” “Everyone else gets all the breaks!” “Why me?” Have you ever known someone who is constantly moaning, groaning and complaining? It’s like a hound dog sitting on a nail! That’s self pity and it leads to the next step down.

He gave into self indulgence. His vices of smoking, explosive anger, avoidance, slothfulness and overspending reeked devastation on our family.

Thirdly, he began to blame everyone for his situation: the communists; the liberals; the numbskulls running the government. He was Archie Bunker on steroids. Any problem in his life was someone else’s fault. He was the angry victim constantly lashing out at an unfair world.

Fourth, I saw that blame led to bitterness in his life. Have you ever know a bitter person? Have you ever had your kids say, “How long is grandma coming to stay with us?” “How long are we going on vacation with them?” Bitterness makes us a very unpleasant person to be around.

Now my Mother, dealing with this immature and angry husband, a financial mess, financially supporting the family, and all the challenges of raising four young children under the age of 10 chose another path. This is what I call the path of hope. I'll continue with her story tomorrow.